As I approach my ninth week here in the U.S.A. and the end of my seventh week of classes, I was sat in the dining hall on campus working out what on earth has happened over the past couple of months. I feel like I’ve spent a lot of my time wallowing in a pit of self-doubt and crying and I’ve literally just had this big epiphany (while eating my rice bowl) that it’s ok to feel not-ok.
This sounds obvious, but to me, it’s taken all this time to figure out. It was kind of strange when it first happened – that first real bout of homesickness that left me bed-ridden for three days after realizing that there was an entire ocean between me and my family. But it happens. I think if it didn’t happen, I’d be more concerned.. It was strange for me – I was lucky enough to not get any real homesickness when I was in Southampton, but here if I manage two weeks, I’m doing well. I’ve found myself looking at it from a whole new perspective.
Now comes the challenge of working out how to handle this and I’m so lucky that I have a very supportive network of people surrounding me constantly to help me along and push me in the right direction.
I’m not entirely sure what’s come out of this post – I think I’m venting more that anything. But it’s an important vent…